Saturday, January 12, 2013

A 21st-Century 'Devil's Dictionary'

This being the 100-year anniversary of Ambrose Bierce's Devil's Dictionary, I thought it would be appropriate to begin creating a 21st century counterpart to it. I began doing so about this time last year but got drawn off onto two major book projects and ended up pushing this project and any number of other ones to the back burner. Coincidentally, one of those books, my true crime compendium Texas Confidential: Sex, Scandal, Murder, and Mayhem in the Lone Star State, contains a chapter about Bierce. While doing research on the book, I stumbled across a compelling new theory about the final days of the popular author and explore it in the aptly-named chapter "The Death of Ambrose Bierce."

Bierce's satirical book had its roots in writings he did in the 1850s and ensuing decades and is an incisive critique of language and the way people use/misuse it. Some initial entries appear below, more will follow, and people are encouraged to reply with their own! Other terms soon to be posted will include "Accusation," "Weirdo-American," "Communist," "Freedom," "Patriotism," "Big Government," and "Second Amendment."

Liberal: Term used by rightwingers to characterize anyone who disagrees with them, regardless of those people's political leanings, beliefs, or motivations.

Asshole-American: An increasingly significant demographic group characterized by individuals who typically can only make their points by shouting down their detractors, advocate violence against their fellow citizens, and suffer from extreme paranoia. Prominent Asshole-Americans include rightwing radio hosts Rush Limbaugh and Alex Jones and psychopath Ted Nugent.

I Support the Troops: A phrase used to indicate that the speaker will not oppose any ongoing military conflict. No actual support for anyone is required beyond periodically uttering the phrase, "I support the troops," which is generally intended to make everyone feel warm and fuzzy and signal that commentary on the war is not welcome.

Values (noun): Any system of beliefs that can be forced upon other people. Sometimes also ideas adopted by individuals as a means of justifying the dismal situations they have created for themselves, particularly with regard to spouses and offspring.

War (noun): A word used to characterize any major venture that has no end in sight; cannot be "won" in any foreseeable way, even if that was the intent in the first place; and is generally intended to prop up one or more sectors of the economy. It is intended to signal the indefinite nature of the supposed conflict and warn people against opposing it. Examples include "the War on Drugs" and "the War on Terror." Note: This word had a significantly different meaning up to c. 1945.